Week 3 | Set A Daily Intention


These kinds of intentions are important because what you choose to focus on will most likely unfold exactly that way — so watch out what you wish for.    --Shawn @ AA/P52

For some reason, Shawn @ Awesomely Awake seems to give suggestions just when I need to hear them.  This week’s {Project 52 : Stay Awake} theme is Set a Daily Intention.  A sort of to-do list but not just for mindlessly getting through the day, but to intentionally set time out for good things, me things, family things, peaceful things.  

Her paragraph on Weekend Intentions helped me wrap up a problem I seem to have: Weekend Morning Grumpies.  I have blamed it on many things...not enough quiet time to finish my coffee; needing another cup of coffee because the first didn’t get rid of the grumpies; not exercising enough; not going to bed early enough the night before; just plain not having the same amount of energy as 2 young ladies in my home...afterall, I’m known as “bear” in the morning.   

But Shawn, the week prior in the Abundant Mama Group, asked us to describe an ideal family day.  Since it was Saturday, I responded first by saying, “I would wake up without the morning grumpies...”.  And I started to wonder, why do I have the morning grumpies after all?  I don’t HAVE to be the bear.  Wouldn’t I enjoy to learn not to be a bear?  Gosh, wouldn’t my family love to not wake up to Mama Bear?  Shawn even replied, “what would it take for you not to have the morning Grumpies?”.  Boy  wasn’t that the question.  I made a “u” turn in my mind.  Maybe more like a “v” turn.  Because I realized I have the power to stop it.  Now, to find out how.  

And so I thought more about it, and realized it was really only on the weekends.  And that I seem to do pretty well during the week...I have a schedule to work by.  And I’d like to add that I made a commitment to myself a long time ago that I did not want to be that rushed Mom headed to work, and I’ve stuck to it (an Intention, I guess you could say, before I knew about Intentionally creating Intentions!).  But in that thoughtful moment, I was wondering, why in the world would I be grumpy on the weekend mornings when I don’t HAVE to be somewhere by some time, I can just hang out with my family???

I felt like I was on to something here.  I realized when we have had a generalized weekend plan, I’ve done better.  That Spontaneous Day in San Diego was a great day!  Though it was spontaneous, we planned it that morning and stuck to it.  The Scavenger Hunt I designed while drinking my first cup of coffee, we were out the door early and it was refreshing and new!  That Sunday that was the Best Day was the product of some serious energy to plan out an amazing day and at the same time to just go-with-the-flow; it was the perfect combination of both.  

And then...there are those Saturdays and Sundays where I start my day out in a funk.  Indecisive of what “I” want to do, and while unable to decide, the day gets decided for me and I just don’t roll well that way.  

And then, this {Project 52: Stay Awake} Week 3 | Set a Daily Intention.  To quote Shawn on the recommendation for Weekend Intentions specifically: 

This is a BIG one for me. We used to have weekends that were so mishap and chaotic, and for good reasons being twins and all. But, truthfully, a lot of it was that I never knew what I wanted in a weekend. And, as a mother, it’s really important to know what I want and what will make me feel good so that I can be both a creative being, a writer and a happy person. I set weekend intentions on Fridays and then the night before I really think about what Saturday and what Sunday need to be for this to be a WONDERFUL weekend. By setting the intentions early enough, it allows for mishaps and chaos so those states do not rule the weekend. Some weekend intentions are REST, BE IN NATURE, SOLITUDE, BE SOCIAL, GET ORGANIZED, ROMANCE, GET OUT OF TOWN, HAVE FUN.

It was if she was speaking to ME!  I don’t have a plan on my weekends because I feel like it is my right NOT TO HAVE A PLAN!  And I’ve been looking at my empty coffee cup, having taken the last sip, wondering when my grumpies will stop and the fun will begin.  And get this -- a second cup of coffee doesn’t make it any better!!  WHY??  Because I need a plan.  Because when 9AM hits, the girls are bored doing whatever they are doing while I sit puzzled at the lacking magic in my coffee, and the questions start.  

I’m hungry (again), can I have a snack?  

What fun things can we do mommy?  

I want to play hide and seek.  Can we play I spy? 

Lets go to the park. 

And rather than feeling like I’m in control of what I want to do, before I know it I am at the mercy of the chaos that my lack-of-a-plan allowed to transpire.  

All this time I have been hoping that the simple smell of that stuff in my cup 

would whisper in my ear what it was that I wanted to do that day.  

And here I am, back to ME.  What do I want out of my days?  What do I want out of my weeks? What do I need for me to start my day without the grumpies?  What do I need to be happy?  

Happiness.  It is a funny thing.  Because I am a happy person.  I have a happy life.  I have everything I need to be happy.  I have daughters who gleam with beauty from their souls, who have renewed my energy and zest for the little things in life, who have taught me so much.  I have an amazingly supportive husband who knows me better than I do myself and will always encourage whatever I need to do to be happy.  I have an awesome family, incredible friends, a fantastic job, a wonderful boss.  And yet.  I wake up with grumpies on the weekends.  

Its no longer fun to be Mama Bear.  It feels.  Well.  Embarrassing I guess.  So I’m going to do a few things.  Here are my intentions:

  • Go to bed earlier (back to week 1, I guess it takes a couple weeks to sink in).  Ideally: girls down by 8.  Get chores done.  Be in bed by 9.  Read/write/catch up on a DVR’d show/catch up with hubbs.  Lights off by 10.  This shouldn’t be hard.  But once I get this part down, then I’d like to wake up earlier, to enjoy the quiet time.  To make lunches in quiet.  To read in quiet.  To drink that magic coffee in the quiet. To practice my peace in quiet.  

  • Consider, as Shawn recommends, going to bed on Friday with a plan in my head of what I want to include in my weekend in order for me to be happy. My girls are old enough that they can go with the flow of what I create.  And my best days have been when I have a clear plan, that includes fun things for them, but carves out a little “me” time for ME, and gives some breathing room for flexibility in the schedule.  I need to get rid of the notion that my weekends are for NOT planning.  I am happier with a plan.  It can be vague, it can be simple.  I just need a plan.  Rich is good at having a plan, “I want to ride with Gary this weekend”.  I need to have a plan too.  Not a list of what I need to get done, I need a new kind of list.  Next bullet please.

  • I need to make a list so that I know what kinds of things would bring me happiness.  
  • Read the books from the list I have that would help me to find me
  • Go for a walk.  Maybe to take in nature.  Maybe to talk myself through something.  Maybe just for exercise.  Maybe to have an hour to call someone and catch up.  
  • Do something with the girls, where I can interact with them, take pictures of them and just BE with them (enter: Pinterest--Rainbow Rice was fun with the girls).
  • Try to involve the guitar more.  Try to draw/paint more.
  • Listen to music more, in the quiet times or in the dance-party-with-the-girls-times.
  • Sunday prepare for the week of meals, with a glass of wine: sip and chop; sip and chop.  Simple meals count too.  
  • Take pictures; learn more about my camera.
  • Get out of town, no cost (excluding gas).  The beach.  The mountains.  San Diego.  Idyllwild.  Big Bear.  Afterall, everything is about an hour away.   
  • Try yoga.  Again.  
  • Work on my room to create the “my space” I’ve been craving and brainstorming.
  • Do something to de-clutter...make it a family affair. 

My daily intentions.  I do need daily intentions.  Some need to be every day, and some will come in and out depending on, well, the energy of the stars I guess. 

  • Wake with peace, go to sleep with peace
  • Be the patient person I want to be and am known for being
  • Be kind
  • Be present
  • Less iPhone, more iWake
  • Say yes more, no less
  • (Continue to) Manage time so as not to be rushed
  • Find time to breathe and be
  • End each day with gratitude
  • Let the moment be the moment and be in that unique moment
  • Notice the sun
  • Nourish me
  • To bed earlier, to wake earlier
  • If it’s Friday, start your weekend gameplan. 
  • Say goodbye to Mama Bear (the grumpy one).

 © Houseman 2013