Week 28 | Find the Good


Life is full of moments that are less than ideal. Life is full of people who constantly disappoint.  Life is full of darkness and moments to get over.  Life is full of challenges and headaches and fuck ups.  Life is full of let downs and imperfections.  But it's also so full of sunshine and light that if you try hard enough, you'll see right past the moon and find yourself staring straight at the stars.  And that's when the smiles come … that's when you have those epiphanies … that's when life is good.

-Shawn @ AA/P52


(She cussed, ha!  I love it!)  


Monday  

I got my quiet time getting ready for work.  They slept through me showering and I was even able to start making their lunches.  

It's not my favorite thing to do, but as long as I did the grocery shopping and as long as I'm not too rushed I can get it done without complaining too much in my head.  I usually do it with two girls chatting or bickering their way through breakfast, starting up the "Can I's" before I can even get my first cup of coffee down.  

But Monday morning I heard the pitter patter of feet.  I thought for sure they were May's…she's the early bird in our household.  

But it was Hadley.  

And there was something about getting some time, just her and I, that was really special to me.  She spoke uninterrupted.  Her ideas and thoughts so much her very own.  

There I was packing their lunches and finding the good in my daughter's delightful conversation.


Tuesday  

This is my long day of work, predictably.  I spend my whole day talking and explaining and thinking and analyzing, and so I tend not to want to think and talk and analyze when I get home.  

Sometimes simply figuring out what's for dinner is too much to think about.  

But this Tuesday, I found the good in my long day, when I came home to my husband BBQ'ing what is now my favorite chunk of meat from the Seaside Market in Cardiff (Burgundy Pepper Tri Tip--it aint no joke).  He got it on his lunch break and brought it home for dinner.  

Fist-pump.  Points.  Yesssssss.


Wednesday  

Same routine different day.  

Got ready, packed lunches and the "Can I's" were shut down because I had to drop them off before work…but…I decided to be unconventional and let them go to the park for the 10 minutes we had before we needed to leave.  

I grabbed my coffee, the girls ran ahead, and this was a 'yes' that paid off.  

They got to release some energy, they got to do their thing, while I got to drink my coffee, I got to take in the fresh air, the morning sun through the trees and I even found a small feather amongst the bark.  

I found the good in a begrudging 'yes'.    


Thursday

(double bad, found double good, extra credit):  

I got to be at home with the girls, and my only plan was to take the girls to the Library for the first time.  

May got up too early (5:50AM) and was ready to start the day, pulled me out of bed with her words.  I wasn't ready, the morning bear growled in me.  I don't like being the bear.  

That should have been my first clue of how the day would go…when the bear shows up the "no fun zone" signs come out. It's pathetic that I can type all this about the bear, and yet still be the bear some days.  

She doesn't come around as often, though; my awareness of her presence has lessened her power. 

Hubbs text me about the sunrise, so I went outside to take a look.  He was right, it was amazing.  That beautiful sunrise made the early morning worth being up for.  The bear even found the good in that moment.   

And then things went downhill.  Nothing was smooth, I was grouchy, the girls were relentless (no more than usual though, the bear was still around), and the library started off okay then ended in complete disaster.   

Naps…oh sweet naps.  I needed a break, a chance to re-group.  

But May didn't nap.  

The one who needed it most, the one who yelled loudest at me in anger outside the library … didn't nap. She had to go potty.  Again.  And 20 minutes later she came tiptoeing down the stairs so as not to startle me, which always backfires on her because it scares the shit out of me (in the spirit of cussing), and I sent her back upstairs.  

Because.  I.  Needed.  Her.  To.  Nap.  And to be honest, our energies fed off each other in the morning and I needed to re-write the day without the bear as a character.  

Another 10 minutes passed and I softened.  

I went upstairs to lay down with her and when the "Can I's" started back up I told her I just wanted to have a conversation with her.  We didn't talk about what went wrong in the library, we talked bout other things in our lives.  We took turns asking each other questions, she came up with some great ones.  

For the 15 minutes that it lasted, I found the good in her lack of rest, in my lack of break, in her inquisitive mind. 

And the bear disappeared. 


Friday

I picked up the girls in the early afternoon and Boo's skin felt warm.  

We decided to split up and let Rich and May go to the planned family dinner, and I would stay home with Boo.  

I so value the times I can be home with them when they are sick, when their fevers come as weekends near so that I can do what us Mommy's get to do when they are sick.  

So despite missing out on fun family plans, in seeing the girls interact with their cousins and aunties and uncles, I found the good in the sweet sleeping fevering body of my youngest's next to mine.  



 © Houseman 2013