My Mama Abundance

I think the thing that struck me hardest as a new mother 5 years ago was the lack of parents really willing to share the truth.  I don’t mean the truth that gets posted on social media, with the perfect moments and the perfect picture to go with it.  I get that we are all more willing to share the moments in our lives that lift us up, that make us smile … but what about the other moments?  

The good truths can’t be possible without the bad truths.  

As a good new-found-friend pointed out, the lotus flower grows from mud; without the mud there is no lotus.

I didn’t want to hear only the good stuff.  I wanted to hear about the hard stuff.  Going back to work, sleep-deprivation, public tantrums, crib-to-bed circus acts, constant noise,  Mom Mom Mom.  I wasn’t seeking pity; it wasn’t even that I needed to hear how other mothers were handling these things, I simply needed to hear that other Mamas were dealing with the same realities of parenthood that I was.  

Because, let’s be honest — it’s a rare moment {as in never} that you see someone post a picture of the door they slammed for the 12th time because they couldn’t control their frustration.  You don’t see videos of kids crying and screaming that they want their Daddy because Mommy is being mean.  You don’t see the selfie that someone posts of their tired, crying eyes, fear that they aren’t a good enough Mama written all over their face.  

Sure we all feel the magnitude of a day gone well.  Of a comment that makes you smile or laugh out loud because their perception of their reality is so raw and fresh.   Of a “thanks for dinner Mom, that was the best!”, or a “you’re the best Mommy in the world”.  And the moments for which there are no words, when you stare at your sleeping baby, or when you watch them ride a bike for the first time, or how they look at their siblings with care.  These are the moments that make it all okay … these moments are the ones we seek to create more often as parents. 

And then there is the reality of the fear that your friends are handling parenthood better than you are.  And on the flip side, there is the pride that comes with wanting to show others {yet, isn’t it mostly ourselves we are trying to show?} that you can make this parenthood thing look good.  And when you are brave enough to open up about the tough times to your friends and family, you get the support you need and are looking for … but how often can you burden others before they start to worry about how you’re handling life?  How often can you rely on the advice of close family and friends before you gotta figure it out on your own, buck up and find your own path to conquer in your own unique way?

This is the point at which I found myself when my girls were about 2 and 4.  I was exhausted.  And it showed.  To have the desire to change is one thing: I needed the tools.  And so I began my search for those golden tools. 

I stumbled across Awesomely Awake (now Abundant Mama) and I suddenly felt validated.  Someone was speaking to me, telling me the truths that I was longing to hear, sometimes with tools on how to handle them, other times just simply hearing someone else’s struggle was enough of what I needed — to feel heard myself.

I decided to try my first ever e-course, the Abundant Mama Project.  I learned how to take care of myself, first and foremost.  By doing so my entire perspective changed.  Dramatically.  I found a place where other mothers, who know nothing about each other, don’t know each other’s baggage or accolades, were supporting each other.  Sharing ideas, sharing their own failures and triumphs.  There was no judgement.  There was no burdening each other.   In encouraging another Mama I felt encouraged myself.  In telling another Mama not to be so hard on herself, I cut myself some slack.  

I believe a combination of things have led to my greater clarity as a Mama, and for anyone who is feeling like their children are seeing them wear a frown or a scowl more than a smile, I’d recommend the Abundant Mama Project in a heartbeat.  You’ll rediscover what needs YOU have, you’ll find ways to implement them in small but meaningful ways, you’ll learn to give yourself a break, and somehow, almost without trying, you’ll discover you’re transforming into that peaceful, present Mama you want to be more often.  

You really have nothing to lose, yet there is so much to be gained.  So much to be gained by the little ones looking up to you.  

If you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to contact me.

 © Houseman 2013