Mental Scissors

I had a successful Mommy moment today.  The intentional kind.  It feels good.  This post is dedicated to patting my own back.  

It was evening, dinner time.  For our family, it can be the most stressful part of the day.  Well, most consistently…it IS the most stressful part of our day.  And this particular evening, it was turned up a notch.  A series of events lead me to a place where I was either going to slam my hand on the kitchen counter, or, decide to remove myself from the situation.  I, this time, chose the latter.  Which implies that in times past I have chosen the former.  Hense the hard work to be in more control, the reading, the searching, the yearning for ways to be better in these moments.  

As if I had done this before (hadn’t), I told Rich I needed 2 minutes upstairs and I sat in the chair in my room and turned on my phone and went to my list of Mantras.  I created them in a much calmer state weeks prior, anticipating that this more stressful state would again come.  

So...I read through mine in that moment of stress.  Some applied in that moment; others didn’t.  But one, in particular, caught my attention.  The one I’ve been working the hardest on.  Detaching myself.  From their behavior.  From my emotions.  From the outcomes (out-cames-and-went).  When I came across that one, I pictured scissors cutting through paper, but that symbolically separated me from Maycee.  Not in a bad way, I wasn’t cutting out my love for complete admiration for awe of her ability to remember, to see all that’s going on, to not miss a beat in life.  I was essentially cutting through the tension I felt....ERRRR...I CREATED between she and I (sure she interrupted me {AGAIN}, we’ll work on that too!).   And I immediately felt the tension disappear.  It was weird to me.  Foreign, really.  So I let myself sit and stew in it again, as must be comfortable-in-a-twisted-way for me to do...found myself reliving the moments prior, immediately that tension was back...wait, let me try to detach again, mental scissors back in action...tension gone.  

I decided to try something new.  In that moment.  I decided to get the heck out of that room and get back downstairs, tension-less, and enjoy my family again.  

It worked. 

In times before, I would have sat and stewed and wondered and thought about it and wondered some attempt to mentally analyze, break down, reconstruct and come to an incredible life-changing conclusion { NEVER } on every little thing...but always in vast failure to achieve that which I really want to do most: 

to Enjoy my family.   

Because, in these instances, thinking about every little detail usually just gets me to: kids will be kids.  So much time and energy wasted to come to the most obvious and logical of conclusions: kids will be kids.  So much negative emotion emanated.  So much time distracted in thought rather than time in being present with my girls, with my husband.  Because of course, kids will be kids (excluding hubby here -->).  They will drive me crazy.  But if I can spend less time being crazy and more time being aware, being awake to each moment as it passes, then I can feel like I’m doing the best I can.  That I’m keeping my cool.  Cool mommy with mental scissors.  

 © Houseman 2013