Hey Mamas


This topic is one that has crossed my mind on many occasions, in many situations, in many phases of my mamahood. It has to do with who we were before we became a mother, and that yearning to regain some of that back.  The spirit of which is a good thing, but I think we should tread that mindset lightly. 

I am done with diapers and diaper bags.  I am done with sleepless nights.  I can plan to go somewhere with a fairly reasonable degree of certainty that my kids will behave themselves.  I'm out of the fog of exhaustion and of mindlessly moving from one aspect of my routine to another.  Only now, with more sleep, do I understand how exhausted I was.  How exhausted us mamas and daddas are during those infant and young toddler years.  And like everyone tells us it would, it gets better.  The fog does lift.  

It didn't really feel like a fog to me, until it wasn't there anymore.  The magical moments of parenthood simply overshadow just how darned tiring it all is.  Perhaps it's Mother Nature's way … matching the intensity of the unknown, the fear, the new, the sleeplessness, the worry, the juggling, with equally intense joy, love, wonderment, magic, and pride.

So it shouldn't be too far fetched to imagine that we, as a person, via parenthood, have changed.  That the process of owning complete responsibility for another human being takes our life in a different path than it was on before.  It should. 

It seems easy, when that fog lifts, to assume that it's time to bring back some of the aspects of our lives that were there prior.  We all reach that point in parenthood when we realize it's time to put some of that focus back on "us".  What  do we love?  What do we like to do?  What makes us happy?  For many of us, for me, it was a bit of a daunting question to answer.  I'm not sure I ever really put into words what I liked, and to list what I loved felt a bit like … another thing to put on the "to do" list. 

But what was in the past should stay in the past.  It was with a different lens that you filtered and viewed and processed your life.  And oh has your life changed.  So while you may be looking to focus a bit more on you, don't be surprised to discover that it is a bit like writing a new story.  Don't be frustrated that you don't really know what you like anymore, that what you used to like doesn't make much sense anymore.  

The threads of your life that are at the root of who you are will always find a way into your life, into your thoughts, into your dreams.  You just need to find a new way to nourish them.  If you look at it like a new journey you will find adventure in it.  If you look at it like a clean slate, you will find excitement in putting chalk to it.  If you look at it in comparison to the past you will be constantly disappointed and discouraged and stuck. 

Be open.  Be honest.  You are amazing for what you have done for those lives that depend on you to be responsible, dependable, loving, caring, nurturing, inspirational, present, awake, encouraging, kind, firm, virtuous …, …., …., …. 

So, by all means, do put some focus back on you; you deserve it.  But put it forward instead.  

Does this ring home with anyone?  What has mamahood inspired in you? I would love to hear about your journey, status-post having kids, back forward to yourself.  Please do share!

 © Houseman 2013