All Right

It doesn’t have words, it’s just a feeling, and I’ve had it rush over me only a few times in my life.  

It's like a silent whisper of an exhaling thought … and the feeling it leaves behind sounds something like, “everything is going to be all right”.  


The most recent time I’ve felt this occur was a couple of months ago.  My daughters were in the car with me, and we were participating in a new routine.  One that we were all trying to be okay with, but was the end result of some changes in our lives that needed to occur.  

Some changes were ones we foresaw but resisted because it meant we saw less of the special people that made up our days.  Other changes I simply wasn’t ready for but needed to deal with anyway.  After gathering myself, that is.  One foot in front of the other, as if drawn by the braver aspects of myself despite fear and apprehension weighting each step. 


On this particular day, in our new routine, the girls and I were driving down Santiago Road and as the big grassy park that sits perpendicularly in front of us came into view, the trees parted in a way that allowed the sky to open up as if unveiling something to us. 

Two hot air balloons caught the gaze of all three of us: We gasped and pointed in synchronous unison.  

And that feeling rushed over me.     


***

The fierce support of my family and colleagues and friends.

The following words that were given to me and that I will forever cherish:

“Your emotions are real but not always Truth! When emotions and truth are not aligned it becomes our responsibility to default to TRUTH.  Truth is NEVER changing and emotions are EVER changing.  So the truth is, [everyone] will be fine, you will pursue healthy options and although your varied emotions are valid and real, the truth is where you are at and you need to move forward.” 

-KB

The fine-tuning of my morning routine to balance my self-care and the needs of those around me in a way that allows me to reprioritize, freshen up and make more efficient the way I spend my time.

The new level of intensity where I spend my professional hours has allowed me to see what I am capable of, and where I need to assert myself. 

The found confidence to do what was mentioned in the sentence prior. 

The adaptability of these amazing people whom share my home with me; because they adjust, I can too.  

The new routine the girls and I have, where we look into the sky for what is now a symbol of all that I have listed above; we still gasp and count and point.

I am so grateful.

And … everything is all right.






 © Houseman 2013